Wait For Me (Breaking Free Book 1) Read online




  Wait For Me

  Renee Fowler

  Copyright © 2018 Renee Fowler

  All right are reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission of the author. No part of this book may be copied, scanned, uploaded or distributed, electronically or in print, without the written permission of the author.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any and all names, character, places and locations are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to places or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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  Chapter 1

  Faith

  After a quick knock to announce my presence, I let myself in the unlocked screen door. Chrissy sits curled up on the couch with her six month old Finn tucked up under one arm. He happily sucks from a bottle, while his mother scans the screen of her phone with bleary eyes. Despite that it’s nearly ten in the morning, Chrissy is still in her pajamas, and her dark hair frizzes around her head unbrushed.

  “What are you doing here? I thought today was Sunday. Wait, it is Sunday, isn’t it?” Chrissy rubs her eyes. “I’m so sleep deprived, I don’t even know what day it is anymore.”

  “Was it a late night for you two?” I ask, going over to whisk Finn out of her arms.

  “Mmhmm. I think he’s cutting a tooth.”

  The baby grins up at me, and I can clearly see the two bottom teeth close to erupting from his gums.

  “Wait, it is Sundy,” Chrissy says, after a second to confirm with her smartphone. “Faith, are you skipping church?” She asks in a disbelieving voice as a big grin breaks out across her face.

  “Don’t worry, I’m not sick. I wouldn’t come over here around you two if I was.” I sit on the adjacent armchair, and settle Finn on my lap. “I had a bit of a headache this morning.” After pausing to swipe away some drool from the baby’s chin, I laugh under my breath. “Well, that’s what I told Matthew anyways.”

  Chrissy’s eyes widen a touch, and she laughs loud. “I can’t believe it. The preacher’s wife playing hooky from church. I didn’t know you had it in you.”

  Alone in this house, with my oldest and closest friend Chrissy Owens, I don’t have to be the preacher’s wife, a role that I have struggled to fill over the past nine months.

  We’ve known each other since the age of fifteen, when she came to live with her grandmother in this very house, after the sudden and tragic passing of her mother. I grew up in a house a short walk through the woods out the backdoor of this place, and although we never went to school together, I was homeschooled, we spent plenty of time together. She’s one of the only people I’ve ever befriended outside the church.

  I’m thankful for that friendship right now more than ever, because there is no one else in my life I can talk like this with. “I think Matthew is cheating on me.”

  Chrissy sputters a mouthful of coffee. “What?”

  “I think… I’m starting to think maybe he has been the whole time.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  I start to shake my head, and try to find the words. Maybe it really is all in my imagination. Perhaps I am jumping to conclusions, but there are so many tiny inconsistencies. For months I’ve brushed them off, and individually most of them are easy enough to dismiss, but they just keep piling up.

  Matthew is called off to minister to the sick and grieving, nothing unusual for a man in his position, but lately those calls have come later at night, and often he returns very late, and runs off to take a shower before even saying hello. Once I found something that I’m almost positive was lipstick on the collar of one of his shirts, which would be damning enough on it’s own, but it looked as if he’d tried to scrub it clean before tossing it in the hamper. Matthew may be many things, but helpful around the house is not one of them. If it was food splatter, he would’ve left the stain to set.

  When I asked him about it, I got some big lecture, punctuated with scripture, on the value of trust. I walked away from that conversation with my head a mess, trying to hold back tears. He has this uncanny ability to twist things around, to make me feel like it really is all a product of my imagination. When my curiosity got the best of me, I tried to look at his phone, but it is secured with a password. It was the same of his laptop, the one time he left it out. Usually it gets locked in the rolltop desk in his study.

  “It’s a lot of things,” I say in a low voice. “It’s a lot of little things, but I found this.” Grasping Finn securely with one arm, I lean back to plunge my hand into the pocket of my skirt.

  When I hold up the tiny scrap of evidence, Chrissy squints at it from her nearby spot. She reaches over to take it from me, clutching it by the tips of her fingers.

  “It was in his pocket,” I say. “I found it when I was doing laundry. I always go through his pockets, because he leaves little things in there, change, gun wrappers, things like that, but this… tell me what you think it looks like.”

  “Uh, well…” She sits the bit of gold, foil wrapper on the end table, and rubs her hand across the top of her pajama clad thigh. “You two don’t ever use condoms?”

  “No, why would we?” Suddenly I feel nauseous. I guess I was hoping Chrissy might tell me I was being crazy too.

  “Maybe it’s from one of those little, single serve packets you get of aspirin, or whatever. Maybe… I’ve never liked this guy, Faith. I told you there was something off about him.”

  Chrissy has been very vocal in her dislike of Matthew before we got married. He never cared for her much either. In his opinion, it was unbecoming that I remained friends with an unwed mother who hadn’t even bothered to baptize her child and never attended church services. Beyond my suspicions, my friendship with Chrissy has been the biggest point of contention between my husband and I. He thinks she is a bad influence, and he fears the time I spend with her will just give people reason to talk.

  Sometimes I think the real reason is, Chrissy’s the only person in my life not fooled by his act. My family and my other friends, most of whom attend the church I grew up in, all think he is a good, upstanding, godly man, but there is a side of Matthew I never glimpsed until after we were wed. There are things about him I would’ve never guessed, things I haven’t been able to speak out loud even to my best friend.

  “Granny didn’t like him either, and she liked everyone,” Chrissy continued. “But maybe… I don’t know, Faith. Have you asked him about it?”

  “Not yet. I just came across it last night.”

  The sound of a door opening from up the hall catches my attention. A tall, broad shouldered man with close cropped hair wandered out on bare feet. He isn’t wearing a thing except jeans slung low on his hips. My eyes skitter across his contoured upper body before I angle them towards my lap.

  “Morning,” he says in a sleepy voice, continuing on to the kitchen. From the corner of my eye, I watch him pour a cup of coffee, and carry it out through the sliding glass door. Once outdoors, he reaches into his pocket for a pack of cigarettes.

  “You didn’t tell me you were seeing someone,” I say in a quiet voice.

  Chrissy’s top lip curls upwards. “Gross. That’s my brother. That’s Ryan.”

  I blink a few times. “Oh, I didn’t recognize him. I didn’t know he got out.” I haven’t seen Chrissy’s older brother for years. He enlisted in the military right out of high school, and after returning four years later, he promptly got into some type of trouble that landed him in jail for a while. The last time I laid eyes on him, Ryan was a gangly teenage boy with bad skin, and shaggy, unkempt hair. I forced my eyes off him to look back at Chrissy. “Is he
living here now?”

  “Yeah, but don’t worry. He’s doing better. I already told him I don’t want that shit around Finn.” Chrissy sighs heavily. “I hope he stays on the straight and narrow, because this house is in his name too. Granny left it to both of us.”

  “I’m sure he’ll be fine,” I say, not feeling all that sure. Ryan has always been a bit of a troublemaker, probably not all that surprising after hearing some of the stories of the way they were brought up. “After all that time, he must’ve learned his lesson, right?”

  “Right. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway, but he took back up with that skanky girl he dated in high school, Nikki. Remember her?”

  I shake my head that I don’t. Ryan is three years older than us, and I never knew him much, despite being best friends with his younger sister. He had a job, friends, and better places to be than his grandmother’s house most of the time.

  “I already put my foot down about that. I told him I don’t want her over here, not around the baby. She’s a drunk, and she’s obnoxious as hell. I don’t know what he sees in her. You’d think she would’ve moved on since he was gone for so long, not that I think she waited around on him or anything.”

  Ryan flicks the butt of his cigarette into the yard, and comes back inside.

  “Come here,” Chrissy calls out to her brother. “We need your opinion on something.”

  He wanders back into the living room. Before I can stop her, she snatches up the scrap of gold foil from the table, and holds it up for Ryan to inspect.

  “Tell me what you think this looks like.” Chrissy demandes. I shoot her a sharp look, which she either doesn’t see, or pretends not to. “It’s the wrapper from a condom, isn’t it?”

  “You’re just now taking an interest in using protection? I guess better late than never, huh? I’m not sure if you can afford another accident until you’re finished with college.”

  “Shut up, asshole. That accident is your nephew.”

  “I’m just kidding.” Ryan reaches around to his back pocket for his wallet. He flips it open, and takes out a condom, holding it up to compare.

  Chrissy snatches it out of his hand, and holds them side by side in front of my face. “I told you. I knew he was a scumbag.”

  “Who’s a scumbag?” Ryan asks. “What’s this all about?”

  “Nothing,” I say quickly, devastated and embarrassed. “It’s nothing.”

  “Nothing? Faith, he’s cheating on you! You said it yourself, he’s been acting funny. You two haven’t even been married a year, and he’s already running around on you.”

  “I don’t know that yet for sure. I need to talk to him.”

  Chrissy scoffs.

  “I just can’t believe… Why would he do something like this? If word got out, it would ruin him.” I pant shallow breaths, trying not to cry. “Can I borrow this?” I ask Ryan quietly.

  “Uh, consider it a gift.”

  Chapter 2

  Ryan

  So that’s Faith, huh?” I ask, watching her walk away through the screen door. “The last time I saw her, she was just a little girl.” I probably should’ve guessed based off the long denim skirt, and the braid of dark blonde hair swinging between her shoulder blades, but I am still waking up, and the woman climbing into the car parked at the end of the driveway doesn’t look a thing like that girl I vaguely recall.

  There aren’t many women who could make matronly getup like that work, but she manages pretty well in my opinion. I tear my eyes away and feign a look of mild disinterest.

  “She’s all grown up now, and married to a colossal asshole, who just happens to be a preacher if you can believe that. I knew that guy was a piece of shit the minute I laid eyes on him. You ever get a feeling about someone, and you just know something’s off?” My sister sighs heavily and repositions Finn on her hip. “He gives me the creeps, and he’s like... demeaning to her, but sometimes I don’t think she knows better. I guess it’s the way she was raised. Her whole family is a bunch of religious nut jobs, so I guess she thinks it’s normal. I hope to hell she doesn’t let this slide. She better not.”

  “Well, if he’s really cheating on her, I’m sure she’ll… Chrissy, you really do like to get into the middle of other people’s shit, don’t you?” I ask, laughing a little. I’d almost forgotten how chatty my little sister can be. She’s one of those people that doesn’t have a filter, at all. She says the first thing that comes to mind, and isn’t one bit shy. Chrissy certainly hasn’t held back any on her opinion of my relationship, if you can call it that. I’m sure if Granny was still alive, I’d be hearing about it from both of them.

  “I’m not kidding, Ryan. He’s a lot older than her, and he’s… smarmy.”

  “What does smarmy mean?”

  “It means, he’s slick. He’s a smoothtalker, and she fell for it. You know, she was a virgin when they got married. Can you believe that? She saved herself for him, and this is how he repays her? That’s probably why she fell for it in the first place. How many almost twenty year old virgins do you know?”

  “Not a one.” I say, taking another sip of coffee.

  “It’s almost criminal the way her parents sheltered her so much. Maybe she can dump this piece of shit, and actually live a little while she’s still got the chance.”

  Chrissy and Faith made about as unlikely a pair as you can get, and from the sound of things, they’re still close. I’m glad my sister had her around when Granny passed. I still feel like shit about the way everything happened. I was locked up, leaving my younger sister to make arrangements on her own, in addition to taking care of a newborn. That was right around the time Finn’s father decided to tuck tail and run too. How the hell she handled all that, on top of working and going to school, I’ll never know. “Why don’t you let me take the baby for a few hours, and you go lay down. You look like a zombie.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  “I’m just saying, you look tired.”

  “Ryan, you don’t even know how to change a diaper.”

  “It can’t be that hard,” I say, and she raises her eyebrows at me. “Well, then teach me. I’m his uncle, and who knows, maybe one day I’ll have one of my own to chase after. It might be a valuable skill to pick up.”

  “My poor future niece or nephew,” she teases.

  “I told you I was going to pitch in while I was staying here, and I meant it.”

  Chrissy grins up at me, then bounces the baby in her arms. “Alright, Finn. Are you ready to show Uncle Ryan the ropes?”

  Two hours later, Chrissy is snoring like a bear in her bedroom, and I have just finished changing my first shitty diaper. I managed not to hurl, and Finn is clean and dry, so I consider it a success. My phone rings, and I know before looking who is probably calling.

  “Morning, sunshine,” Nikki says, in a croaky voice.

  “It’s actually afternoon. Are you just now waking up?”

  “You know I like my beauty sleep.”

  I roll my eyes. There’s beauty sleep, and then there’s passed out, wasted drunk. Nikki always did like to party, but in the time since I’ve been away her weekend fun has extended to most every day of the week. She’s about as emotionally mature as when we first hooked up our sophomore year of high school, perhaps less.

  “Why didn’t you stay over last night?” she asks.

  “The fact that you can’t remember why I didn’t stay over last night… Did you want something?”

  She sighs quietly. “I was hoping you could drive me to get my car, then maybe we could, you know… hang out.”

  We’d met up last night for drinks, but when I arrived I found Nikki had a big head start on me. She was already at the bar with that little gaggle of girls she wastes all her time with. The fact that everyone there knows her by name pretty much says it all. That place is practically her second home.

  I nursed a beer for an hour, then Nikki tried to pick a fight with me, accusing me of staring at some girls chest. I can’t ver
y well deny the accusation completely. When one of her friends took a go on the mechanical bull, and her tits popped out the top of her low cut blouse during the ride, I think everyone in the joint, man and woman, took notice.

  We fought all the way back to her place about it, and when I finally got her inside her apartment, Nikki decided it was time to kiss and makeup. I might be a bastard, and a low life according to some, but there is no way in hell I’m going to screw some barely coherent girl who can hardly stand upright. That’s about the time she told me to get the fuck out, and never come back.

  Judging by her offer to hang out, most of the proceeding night’s events must be lost to the haze of alcohol.

  “I’m not really in the mood to hang out right now Nikki. Besides, I’m watching my nephew.”

  “All night?”

  “No, not all night.”

  “Then we can do something later.”

  “I’m starting my new job tomorrow.”

  “I didn’t say we have to stay out late.”

  “Nikki, I’m not interested in watching you get shit faced at the bar again.”

  She lets loose a disgusted huff. “Then we can do something else. I’ll take you out for your birthday since I’m going to be working that night. We’ll go get dinner.”

  I knew I should say no, but I’m not all that interested in sitting in all night. I’ve spent thirteen months caged up, and although I’m determined to never find myself in that particular cage again, there is something claustrophobic about being between these four walls as well. “Alright. I guess dinner would be fine, but I’m serious. I want to be in early.”

  “God, when did you get so boring.”

  “Everyone has to grow up sooner or later.”

  “Says you.”

  ∞∞∞

  When I come by to pick up Nikki shortly after seven, she answers the door wearing jeans so tight they look like they were painted on, and a form fitted top that dips dangerously low in front. I’m not denying that Nikki looks good, but she isn’t dressed like this for my benefit. She likes attention. She’s a flirt. I used to let it eat me up back in the day when I thought the two of us might actually be something, but I know better than that now.